Vote Cthulhu 2020 !

Silliness

Jul 3

First off, I want to give some credit where credit is due. The question of “What if Cthulhu Existed Today ? “ was poised by LifesBiggestQuestions (LBQ) on his YOUTUBE channel. It was a fantastic analysis, I encourage you to watch it. However, I wanted to take things a bit farther and examine the impact if Cthulhu was wandering the streets of the world now in 2020. As if we didn’t have enough going on already.

To summarize LBQ’s points:

Cthulhu exists in two states
- Sleeping state, in which he sleeps in R’lyeh and communicates through dreams to his followers
- Awake state, in which his powers would be amplified beyond our knowledge. Per the writings of H.P. Lovecraft, the end is coming at this point.
Followers, or worshipers, would exist in either state.
- In a sleeping state, Cultists seek to wake him through their worship and spreading the word through the world.
  - Cthulhu communicates with some of these through dreams, albeit more invasive forms of telepathy are watered down (no pun intended) through the depths of water surrounding him, or just by his state of sleep.
  - Immortality seems to be a driver for Cultists, who leverage arcane knowledge to achieve it without Cthulhu’s direct influence.
  - In a sleeping state, Deep Ones, a form of amphibian humanoids (most prevalent in Innsmouth, Massachusetts), also worship him. These tend to come ashore and mate with humans, creating a genetic creature that appears human until their teenage years and then goes back to the sea to join the Deep One community.
- In an awoken state, the Cutlists and Deep Ones would seek to enslave humanity. Unbelievers would be killed.
In an awoken state, the coming of other Old Ones would more than likely make their appearance on Earth, much to the horror of humanity.

From these LBQ points, I would provide the following argument.

The beginning of the upsurge in immigration occurred long before the U.S. military incursion of 1927-1928 in which the U.S. conducted Naval operations off of Devil Reef, a mile outside Innsmouth Harbor.
- While perhaps looked down upon due to sensibilities of the time, the Deep Ones did provide added resources and labor to the fishing village in exchange for mating rights. The subsequent progeny between the Deep Ones and humans are afforded the same Constitutional rights as any natural born citizen under the 14th Amendment, which was adopted in 1868. Arguments could be made against “natural”, given the Deep Ones origin, this argument would be null and void under the 1898 ruling under U.S. v Wong Kim Ark , which admits full citizenship based on :
  - either the parents are foreign citizens,
  - permanent domicile status in the United States, and
  - engagement in business in the United States except performing in a diplomatic or official capacity of a foreign power.
- The burden of proof would be that the Deep Ones are providing for the people of Innsmouth, and that at least one of the progeny’s parents does retain a residence in town (noting here that this is kinda the contract between the fishermen and the Deep Ones, per the story). To reject the Old One’s claim, one would have to prove that those who worship Cthulhu are performing under the influence of a foreign power. Given the propensity of Cultists worshiping the Old One not only in the U.S. , but globally, the protections afforded the Deep Ones under the First Amendment would eliminate such conjecture.
After the U.S. created the incursion, the Deep Ones entering Innsmouth would be afforded refugee status. Since the port of entry generally was located at Ellis Island, (opened 1892), the migration of Deep Ones would logically be directed there. However, it is possible that what is termed today as “illegal entry” to the U.S. would continue through the waterways such as Innsmouth. Due to the U.S. requirements on immigration, this would become an issue in 2020, as the laws for immigration began to change as early as 1924 with the establishment of Visas. In 2020 , the higher standard for immigration would drive the Federal Government to establish a physical barrier to the border with Devil Reef, altering the oceanic landscape which those vacationing in Innsmouth enjoy.
With the decrease in tourism, the dependency on this coastal town on its fisheries would increase. Assuming heightened enforcement of Deep Ones and immigration, the political parties would come to an impasse over the legal status of those working in the community. Ultimately, by 2020, the people of Innsmouth would establish a non-aggressive stance against cooperation with the Federal Government. This would result in widespread media coverage and discussion on States and Local rights to oppose Federal rule to ensure Innsmouth’s continued relevance in the fishing industry.
Locals would parlay with their representatives to ensure protections were enabled for the Deep Ones. Albeit, most Deep Ones would be enjoying their dual-citizenship, and spending part of their time within the depths off of Devil Reef, which would cause some concerns with the Local and Federal Government with respect to tax status. Noting that the form of currency utilized by the Deep Ones (fish for sex) Is not exactly taxable by either party, the 2020 Federal Government would establish additional taxes to the fishing industry within Innsmouth based on its number of fisheries. This model comes from the online taxation model where the receiving end of the online transaction is taxable in many states. Since it would be immoral to estimate the tax on available women to establish progeny, the Massachusetts and Congressional assemblies would believe this to be a fair compromise. The people of Innsmouth would see this as a taxation without representation and take issue.
Due to COVID restrictions, what fisheries remain would have lost significant income due to manpower shortages, the inability for surgical masks to cover those of Deep One origin’s tentacled faces, and increase of taxation. This would lead to an increase of incidents of lawless fishing on the high seas, something the Coast Guard is woefully unprepared for. Noting the increase of incidents in Innsmouth, the Pentagon would receive the necessary approvals from the President to send in the Navy to investigate. Worshipers of Cthulhu would see this as government overreach. Political opponents would view this as a breach in DHS’ oversight of the Coast Guard and illegal use of the Navy to carry out DHS mandates.
Utilizing social media , Cultists worldwide would join in the defense of the Old Ones and Innsmouth. At the Summer Equinox, a broadbanded chant across YouTube and other social media circles would occur. . Millions would subscribe and join, chanting "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn".
- Cthulhu, thus, would be awakened. The U.S. would then promptly request that R’lyeh be provided a seat at the U.N. Subsequently, the U.S. would be asked to pay for damages from the 1927-28 incursion which led to this issue in the first place.
Utilizing its mass of Cultists, Cthulhu and his followers apply for several patents in various countries for telepathic-based technologies. By 2021, R’yleh controls all such technological rights which eliminate social media, television, and radio industries. It becomes the world’s economic giant, enslaving all the world’s currency.